Do Jerks Get Hired For Management Roles, or Does Management Create Jerks?
I assumed that certain rude personalities were promoted to leadership positions. Then I both found myself being promoted, and adopting some of those behaviors.
Welcome to the Scarlet Ink newsletter. I'm Dave Anderson, an ex-Amazon Tech Director and GM. Each week I write a newsletter article on tech industry careers, and specific leadership advice.
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Have you ever noticed that senior leaders are often jerks? They’re often quick to dismiss ideas. They’re impatient, and arrogantly dictate the pace of meetings. They’re frequently rough with their feedback, and seem to lack empathy.
I noticed that the more senior you became, the more you seemed to end up with sharp edges. And then I noticed that I was gaining some sharp edges as I grew in my career. Which felt weird because I’d never imagined myself as a rude person before.
In my defense, I think I’m a thoughtful and nice person outside of work. I’ll notice the old lady holding groceries, and hurry to open the store door for her. I always say please and thank you to servers in restaurants. If someone is carrying a baby, I always say they have a pretty baby, even if it’s ugly. Because beauty is in the eye of the baby holder, as they say.
Early in my management career, I remember bracing myself to tell an employee that their performance wasn’t great (and hadn’t been for a while), and their job was in danger. They started crying, and I felt this wave of terror that I was going to cry as well.
Later in my management career, I remember feeling frustrated that a manager was hesitant to give similar clear negative feedback to someone on their team. “Dang it, just do your job!” I kept thinking in my head. I ended up sitting down with the manager and employee, and I told the employee that their performance wasn’t great, and their job was in danger. The employee cried. The manager cringed in their chair, visibly uncomfortable. I felt a bit bad for the employee because I’m not a monster, and I know losing your job sucks. But I also felt frustration at both of them for requiring me to step in.
I’ve thought about this a lot. I’m fairly sure that early career Dave would be a bit intimidated by late career Dave. I would have certainly been offended by some things that late career Dave did or said.
It’s not just me. I spent 12+ years at Amazon, which means I knew some people for well over a decade. I repeatedly met meek development managers who turned into senior managers or Directors with serious attitudes. Again, not necessarily rude attitudes, but, “Guys, this product isn’t ready to launch. Within the next hour, I need a list of all the open launch blocker bugs with a timeline to get them fixed.”
I remember a conversation early in my time at Amazon where a few of us jokingly said that we only promote jerks into positions of power.
“Just look at this list of VPs. They’re all scary jerks. Clearly, we promote one type of leader.”
Except, what if it’s not only that we promote scary jerks? What if the act of becoming a senior leader changes our personality?
Let’s first walk through what behaviors I’m referring to.
Aggressive and Impatient senior leaders.
A program review meeting.
VP, “Is Project C still on track for launch?”
Project manager, “Well, we were going through-”
VP, “I asked if we’re on track. The answer to this question is yes, or no. Your answer needs to start with yes or no.”
Project manager, “Yes, it is, but we’re also looking at a few potential blockers which could-”
VP, “I don’t have time for more details. If it’s on track, we’re moving on.”
Callous senior leaders.
We were reading a 6-pager document written by a product manager. That product manager reported to a Director, who reported to our VP. Everyone was in the meeting room.
5 minutes into the meeting.
VP, “Director, did you read this document?”
Director, “I read an early draft, but I haven’t seen it for a while.”
VP, “Ok, the document is missing goals, it’s disorganized, and I’ve seen multiple typos. This is not acceptable quality. Don’t bring this back until it’s ready.”
The VP got up, and walked out of the meeting room.
Detached senior leaders.
We were asking for a couple more headcount for one of the major projects on our team. Our team was excited to work on the project.
VP, “I see here you’re asking for another two people for the Project X team, bringing it to seven?”
Manager, “Yes, you can see there on the project timeline that those additional two people would allow us to bring that critical launch into this year before the holidays.”
VP, “I get it, but let’s pause Project X, and move everyone to Project Y. That’s more critical right now. And now we don’t need those two extra people.”
Manager, “But… these engineers were excited about Project X, and we’ve spent a good amount of time on it.”
VP, “Don’t delete the code, we can come back to it someday. I’m glad they were excited about it, but everyone needs to move to Project Y. You need to figure out how to make this happen quickly.”